my 2cents worth of thoughts
Maybe God is testing my patience.
Each time, I wish that she would be like herself 5 years ago.
Or better 15 years ago. When he is still around.
The days that I would jump onto my ride as soon as I know she cooks my favourite dish. I occasionally wished for her nasi arab, ikan sambal, ikan bilis sambal, kuih makmur and lots more.
Her memory has gone from bad to worse.
She kept repeating same stories every single day. I dont mind hearing the stories but at times the stories are not true. I dont know what is going through her mind.
I pity mom for having to go through it everyday. Mom cant be so stressed out, I know mom is stressed out with this.
I myself have to go through it everyday, everytime she come and sits nearby, she would go on telling her stories in which some of it I knew by heart.
At times, I tried correcting her stories.
I prayed/wished hard that my "darah muda" would not make me burst out. Thats why now I would choose to keep quiet and just zoned out my hearing.
I remembered the fun time that we both used to have when she was stronger last time, when I was unemployed. We used to go out for lunch just the two of us. We would have ice cream as that is her favourite food.
Nowadays, she is super duper sensitive. Would be sobbing, crying. She wants to go back. She said this could be her last stay here. I dont want that. I want her to be around during my happy day. I want her to be around till at least she could see her first grand grandchildren.
Oh God Almighty [read : Ya Allah], please please give her memory back, her strength back so that things could go back as what it use to be. She deserve a better life. She has been a good mother/grandmother to all of us, why is she being tested this way? What went wrong? Please God, please, I want she to be better.
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