Life as I see It

He who I refer to as Ba.

I remembered , setiap kali lepas makan, kalau ada nasi tumpah, he would ask me to kutip balik.
No matter where. At home, at grandparents, at relatives.
I used to think why must I?
Then slowly, I learned that is rezeki.

Tali pinggang is like a friend to me.
No I am not being abused, just being a kid that likes to wonder around, ignorant and choose to ignore his words.
But then as I grow older, I noticed that he rarely used it on my other siblings.
Takpe lah, redha. I am what I am now because of him.

Dulu, each time after school holiday, my friends would tell stories about their oversea trips.
And we would always end up in Langkawi or Port Dickson or Penang.
And I would ask, why can't we go oversea?
He would say - study hard. Then you could go anywhere you want.
Alhamdullilah. His word came true.

He is the father of mine, that I grew up with.
There were many times, when he is angry, I would always wish that I could run away.
There are the good old times and also the times that I wished it did not happen (partly it was my fault).
But now, I understood.
He did those things, because he loves us, his children.

Mom says. Aye says.
I am the exact resemblance of him.
Does not talk much in the morning. Can be very cranky.
Both also has the same level of ego.
Both also hot tempered.
Both love durian. Arwah makok selalu kata, we (I and him) used to eat durian a lot each time we balik Penang.
And I do have his look.

Nowadays, there is a very big gap between him and me.
We seems to be drifted far away.
Talk only when necessary.

Ba, if only you are reading this.
I know, I never say it out loud. But I love you. I am thankful to have you as my Ba.
I am sorry that till now , I could not fulfil your wish. It just not time yet.
And I do hope, I could do it soon enough. Before I regretted not doing it.

Happy Father's Day.

Love,
Kak Long